Fierce & Lovely

I haven't updated in almost four months....so here's a meme!!

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 06:00:28 GMT

So here is how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Media Player, iPod, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question type the song that is playing.
5. When you go to a new question press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. When you're finished tag some other people so they do it too!

Opening Credits:
Sweet Dreams-Beyonce (this beat is so hot)

Waking Up:
Wanna Be Loved- Jill Scott (damn lol)

First Day At School:
The Look of Love (Madison Park vs Lenny B Remix)- Nina Simone

Falling In Love:
Energy- Raheem DeVaughn ft. Big Boi (i like where this is going so far.....)

Fight Song:
Ode to Marvin- Solange Knowles ("I know the way it is don't mean that's how it's supposed to be")

Breaking Up:
Rightness- Jill Scott

Prom:
Dance2Night- Madonna ft. Justin Timberlake (okay now this is scary!)

Life:
Incredible- Madonna (awwwwww ::tear::)

Making babies:
Back Again- Musiq (lol if at first you don't succeed, go....)

Mental Breakdown:
When I Grow Up- The PussyCat Dolls (lmao)

Driving:
Sandcastle Disco- Solange Knowles (good choice iTunes!)

Flashback:
I Guess You're Right- The Posies

Getting back together:
Drunk and Hot Girls- Kanye West ft. Mos Def (HELLLOOO!!)

Wedding:
The Die- Lupe Fiasco ft. GemStones (pretty much confirms what I already thought about marriage lol)

Birth of Child:
Whatchamacallit- The PussyCat Dolls (that's sooooo going on the birth certificate!! ;P)

Final Battle:
One Step Beyond- Karsh Kale

Death Scene:
All Dressed in Love- Jennifer Hudson (LMAO! I can't.....)

Funeral Song:
Tired- Adele

End Credits:
Taking Chances- Celine Dion (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Lots of fun; I should do this once a week ;-P

If you're reading this, do it!!

Always there when you need it...

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 23:07:44 GMT

Myspace and facebook are the devil. They have allowed me to see that it is possible to live the life I dream of living because some of my friends are living that life. Hate it. Must work harder....

That's what I posted a mere 50 minutes ago.

Here's what I just stumbled across while going through my LJ communities:

Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.
Marquis de Condorcet

::insert Twilight Zone music::

Ain't nothing to it but to do it, right? :)

That girl....

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 22:20:27 GMT

Myspace and facebook are the devil. They have allowed me to see that it is possible to live the life I dream of living because some of my friends are living that life. Hate it. Must work harder....

I resent my mother. For a lot.

If today's weather is any indication of how hot is will be this summer, I'm in trouble. Me no likey the heat.

Holla!

Sat, 24 May 2008 17:25:19 GMT

Three day weekend, ftw!!

Carol's Daughter hair smoothie conditioner back in stock!!!

Tomorrow, church with a co-worker and a BBQ with K. Skinny!

I am so at ease and calm right now; I feel light :-)

Woohoo!

Walking in the rain, not so fun. Random entry ahoy!

Thu, 22 May 2008 03:50:09 GMT

My nose is stopped up, which makes my head hurt. And it's running. (My nose, not my head.....)

I need to get my tattoo (niente è impossibile) SOON!! I'm feening for the buzz, the pain, the pleasure, the good stuff....

Perhaps I should get my ID first, hmmmmm? Or maybe find a place that will do it without the ID check. But do I really want to trust a place that doesn't check ID?? Catch 22, si?

I wonder if they'll take my birth certificate, social security card, school ID and a note from my mother....

lol

Proper update soon. I promise!!

Wed, 14 May 2008 01:10:08 GMT

One word tag

1. Where is your cell phone? Store
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? Nonexistent
3. Your hair? Tamed
4. Your mother? Church
6. Your favorite thing? Sleep
7. Your dream last night? Gone
8. Your favorite drink? Seltzer
9. Your dream car? Chauffered
10. The room you're in? Main
11. Your ex? Imaginary (lol)
12. Your fear? Failing
13. Your favorite number? 8
14. Where were you last night? Home
15. What are you not doing right now? Work
16. Muffins? Yes!
17. One of your wish list items? BlackBerry
18. Grew up at? Ha!
19. The last thing you did? Read
20. What are you wearing? Undies
21. Your TV? On
22.Your pet or pets? None
23. Your computer/laptop? Old
24.Your Life? Cool
25.Your mood? Chill
26. Missing someone? Friends
27. Neighbors? Meh.
28. Your best friend? Love
29. Your work? Good
31. Like someone? No (what's up with that Crush Fairy?!)
32. Your favorite color? Purple
33. When is the last time you laughed? Earlier

I really need to take the time out to type a proper entry, with the good, bad, ugly, and pretty of my life.

That time isn't now though lol.

Tomorrow?

Why must everything be so damn difficult?!

Sun, 11 May 2008 17:21:35 GMT

And on this Mothers' Day, I am scouring Craigslist for an apartment so I can get the hell away from mine.

I need a break.

The MOLE is BACK!!

Sun, 11 May 2008 00:19:27 GMT

JUNE 2ND!! Yayyyyyy!!!
Is there an LJ community for The Mole? Me hopes so.

And in other (unrelated) news: I need a 2nd job.

Hustle.

I should be entering grades....

Wed, 07 May 2008 01:26:42 GMT

Seven 3, Eight 3

They Come in Threes....

3 names you go by...
Kat-Rice, Trice, and Celeste (crazy ass co-worker gave it to me lol).

3 parts of your heritage...
Black, White (?), Cuban (? so I've heard)

3 things that scare you...
Not achieving my dreams, dying young, losing someone I love.

3 of your everyday essentials...
Breakfast, Sleep, Purse.

3 things you are wearing right now...
Bra, undies, mismatched flip flops LOL (a mess? yes)

3 of your favorites bands/artists...
Gavin DeGraw, Lupe Fiasco, Jill Scott

3 favorite songs...
"He Loves Me" (Jill Scott), "Anytime" (Brian McKnight), "This Woman's Work" (Maxwell).

3 things you want in a relationship...
Love, honesty, laughter.

3 physical things about the opposite sex you like...
Lips, smile, and shoulders (love me some shoulders....grrr)

3 of your favorite hobbies...
sleeping lol, listening to music, reading

3 things you want RIGHT NOW...
a vacation, sleep, tickets to the Glow In The Dark concert!!

It really is a cleaning revolution.

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 02:51:40 GMT

I bought the Swiffer starter kit yesterday (and the dry refills), used it today and boy, am I a convert. No more mop and broom for me!! It really does trap dirt/dust/hair etc, and make the floor shine. I really needed to Swiffer (it's a verb!) weeks ago, before my allergies started bothering me but at least it's done now and I can literally breathe easy. Now I need to buy the wet refills and the Swiffer Duster and I'll be allllllll goooddddd :D

And because I feel like it, a meme!

19 things you probably don't know about me!

1. What were you doing at 7am this morning?
Sleeping :( And I'm giving a sad face because I wanted to be up at that time working on my to-do list. Oh well, I got some things done.

2. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Reading a blog on glamour.com: Margarita Shapes Up (my new favorite)

3. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Going to sleep or watching The Apollo (yes, it still comes on and yes, I still watch it lol)

4. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Oh, thanks"

5. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Right now, I'm really feeling vanilla.

6. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Seltzer water. About to go grab a grapefruit Izze (aka Nectar of the Gods)

7. What are you wearing right now?
Black cropped leggings and an old v-neck t-shirt from Old Navy that says "I can show you paradise". No really, that's what it says lol

8. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope :( Hopefully, I will next week.

9. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Basketball game a couple of weeks ago

10. Do you have a tan?
Yes, it's a perma-tan.....aka being Afro-American.

11. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
I don't drink soda, I drink seltzer water. And sometimes I drink it from a straw.

12. Are you someone's best friend?
Yes :) Hey! ::waves::

13. Last person you talked to on the phone?
A student.

14. Have you met anyone famous?
Yes I have. Most memorable: Tyson Beckford. Ya'll know the story lol

15. Last song listened to?
"I know" by Jay-Z. I really like that song and Hot 97 plays it 3 times an hour. Woohoo!

16. Are you jealous of anyone?
Only those with disposable income.

17. Is anyone jealous of you?
Probably. Actually, yes, for sure. Stank neighbor.

18. Do you eat healthy?
Yes, I can say I do on most days.

19. Do you hate anyone right now?
Nope. It's bad karma and takes too much energy.

Please pray.

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 03:23:05 GMT

I am heartbroken over the verdict in the Sean Bell case. I need a word greater than injustice right now.

Even more than before, I'm worried for all the black men out there.

Please don't poke the bears.

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:16:23 GMT

This job has brought out passive-aggressive qualities I didn't know I had.

Fun times.

Focus man!

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:37:08 GMT

I'm procrastinating so hard right now, I'm ashamed. ASHAMEDDDDDD!!!!

Someone owes me big time!!

Long ass meme cause I still can't get my thoughts together....

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 04:24:04 GMT

Part 1: The Birth of You
Were you a planned baby?: Surprisingly, yes.
Were you the first?: For my father, yes. Mother, no.
Who was present at your birth?: Parents and doctor I presume.
Were your parents married when you were born?: Yes.
What is your birthdate?: August 15th, 1985. Yippee!! (I really like my birthday lol)

Part 2: The Family
How would you describe your family?: I barely talk to anyone on either side. Which makes me sad. I should rectify that.
Are your parents married?: Thank goodness no.
Siblings or an only child?: I have an older brother and a younger sister but was raised as an only child. Loooong story.
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: I'm an only child/middle child. Again, lonnnnng story.
What are your siblings names and ages?: Jamal, 25 (I think) and Kevilee, 5 (again, I think) (Ok, this meme is starting to make me feel like crap.....)
Which parent do you get along with best?: Mother (somewhat by default but mostly by the fact that I know without a doubt that she will always be there for me).
What do you fight about?: Money, chores, responsibility.
Do you have step parents?: That trick my father married.

Part 3: The Friends
Do you have more than one best friend?: I do. Milah, Crys, K-Skinny
What do you like to do when you are together?: I don't hang with them at the same time. Used to do that with Crys and Milah but thats stopped as we've gotten older. But funny enough, I do the same thing with each of them. Eat, wander the city, go to movies, shoot the sh!t, yadda yadda.
Do you share the same interests?: I share the same interests with different friends. Does that make sense?
Which friend can you tell anything to?: All of them, if I ever decide to stop censoring myself.

Part 4: Your Personality
How high/low is your self esteem?: Moderately high? Low side of high?
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?: More extrovert than introvert but I have my shy moments.
Are you happy?: Yes.
Do you live life to the fullest?: I'm trying.

Part 5: Appearance
Are you comfortable with the way you look?: As of lately, no. And it irks the hell out of me!
Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: Nope.
Describe your hair: ::sigh:: It's natural. 'Nuff said.
How do you dress?: For work: Business casual unless there's an event. For play: Jeans, T-shirt, hoodie lol But when I do dress up, look out!

Part 6: The Past
Were you a strange child?: I'm sure those who weren't open minded enough thought I was "strange". I just thought I was me.
What did you used to love that you no longer do?: Jell-O. Makes me gag just thinking about it.
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: (Why is this meme about to make me cry? Probably should've read all of it before I copied and pasted) Between all of the drugs, alcohol, and domestic abuse that surrounded me as a child, I'm surprised I function as well as I do in the world. Actually, I'm not surprised because GOD has always been watching over us. I just only realized it. But yeah, I've been through/seen some stuff.

Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?: To live a better life than I can even dream of.
Are you scared of growing old?:  A little.
Do you want to get married?: Depends on what day you ask.

Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Nice weather, outdoors. Bad weather, indoors.
What is your favorite season: Tie between Fall & Spring.
Do you like walking in the rain?: If it's a light shower and I have an umbrella, then I'm okay with it lol.

Part 9: Food
Are you a vegetarian?: I tried to be. Actually, I stopped eating meat for a while but didn't eat too many veggies.
What is your favorite fruit?: Strawberries/Oranges/Pineapple
What food makes you want to gag?: Is Jell-O considered food? If not, what about grits?
What is your favorite dessert?: Strawberry cheesecake from Juniors. Or this warm, chocolate, exploding cake with vanilla ice cream that most restaurants have. It's bangin'!
What is your favorite restaurant?: Don't have one.
Are you a fussy eater?: Nope. (FYI:  Had to read that question twice. The first time I thought it asked something else. Almost had me asking "What the hell kind of meme is this?!!!" lol)

Part 10: Relationships and Love
Are you single or taken?: Single (ok, normally I'm cool with that. But seriously, can The Kat get a little lovin' this year? I mean, just a little!)
If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: N/A
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: I do.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: I believe it's possible only for those rare, highly evolved few. And I'm not one of them.

I'M BACK!!!

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 16:32:35 GMT

It's been almost 3 months since my last confession er, um entry lol

Much to talk about, but I don't even know where to begin.

I'm in the middle of catching up on everyone else's lives (CRYSTAL MARIE!!! IM me!! KAYARDOUBLEU8 ) so expect comments!

It's good to be back :)

MeMe 'bout Me :)

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 05:40:36 GMT

I am not: listening to my body.
I hurt: sometimes.
I love: myself, my mother, my friends.
I hate: nothing.
I hope: I can get everything I want.
I hear: the hum of the computer.
I regret: absolutely nothing.
I cry: rarely.
I care: about creating a positive legacy.
I always: look both ways before crossing.
I long to: be fulfilled in every way.
I feel alone: sometimes.
I listen: to my heart, more and more every day.
I hide: from love.
I drive: away people.
I sing: all the time :)
I dance: in my undies!
I write: when I'm not strong enough to speak the words that I need to say.
I breathe: by the grace of GOD.
I play: SuDoku.
I miss: my friends.
I search: for everything on Google.
I say: "Go hard or go home".
I feel: sleepy, proud, accomplished.
I succeed: when I put my mind to it.
I fail: when I give up.
I dream: of peace.
I sleep: in my weird, 5 walled (new word!) room.
I wonder: if I can have it all. (My definition of all, not the worlds)
I want: to live freely and for my mother to be happy.
I worry: that I won't get what I want.
I have: so much to do in life.
I give: what I can.
I fight: for what I want.
I wait: patiently.
I am: moving into who I am supposed to be.
I think: I'm awesome lol
I can't: wait to see what this year brings.
I stay: Me.

Father forgive me....

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 20:34:33 GMT

For I have sinned:

I just straight up lied to someone (in an email no less) in order to avoid what I perceived to be a threat to my plan. Small lie but a lie none the less. And I feel icky. Blah.

Sorry.

Apparently the interview went really well.....

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:09:39 GMT

BECAUSE I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spinning wheels.

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 20:37:48 GMT

Oh, Amy Winehouse. I saw the picture of her smoking crack in the newspaper yesterday morning and then while in the laundry mat later that day, watched her video for "You Know I'm No Good" and I just felt so sad. She is so talented but hurting so much. I've never been in a place where I've sought drugs or alcohol to ease the pain (because she's obviously dealing with some deep pain), so I don't know what she's going through. But I hope she gets better.
Brad Renfro died last week. Heath Ledger died yesterday. Sad.
Lil' Wayne got arrested AGAIN.
Britney is Britney.
Finally saw Snoop's "Sexual Seduction" video last night (MTV Hits was on in the laundry mat. Must rethink this whole "no cable" thing.....). Hilarious! Such a great concept.

Going to dinner with Kelvin's girlfriend later. Heading to a Japanese restaurant where you cook your food right at your table. Should be fun, with all the flammable stuff I put in my hair lol. She and I are becoming great friends though I do tread carefully in some of our conversations. Particularly the ones in which we talk about man issues since her man is like a brother to me. But she and I do have "the sister/sista hood" connection. Which is nice.

Endnote: How good is One Tree Hill this season?! Loves it!

"I give good interview"

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:51:41 GMT

Had my interview today and it went well. They said they'll be calling within the next two weeks with a decision. It's out of my hands (after I send my thank you letters, of course!) and all up to God now. (Dear God, I know that you know all things but just to reiterate, I really, really, really, really want this job. Really. Thanks!)

Filed my taxes a few weeks ago and since then I've been thinking about the Earned Income Credit: I could've gotten up to $2,000 extra if I had a child! Like, seriously?!

I'm not saying.......but I'm saying.........lol

It's a jungle out there.

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 19:23:40 GMT

I need to run down to Carol's Daughter to pick up some stuff for my hair. I have to take public transportation to get there. It's 2:22pm.

I have a rule regarding public transportation at a certain time: If I can help it, I do not ride the train between 2:50pm and 4:30pm. Because that's when HS kids are usually on the train. And I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY do not like to ride the train with HS kids. They are loud. And obnoxious. And they get on my nerves. (And NO, I wasn't loud and obnoxious when I was in HS. But if I was, I got a pass because I was/am hella smart lol. HOLLA! :) What, oh what, do I do?

In other (surprisingly related) news, I have an interview next week for a position at a......wait for it.........HIGH SCHOOL!! Assistant Internship Coordinator. I want it so bad I can taste it. Yum : )

::sigh::

Considering the fact that my hair is looking very much like Cornell West's, I think I should take my chances with the kids on the train. Wish me luck...

Ground Hog's Life.....

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 06:08:34 GMT

There is a lesson to be learned from my life. The way that I live, think, do things. I think I'm making changes yet I find myself in the same place. Perhaps I'm not changing the right thing(s) and will never figure out the right thing(s) to change. In which case, I am doomed to live this life and make the same mistakes over and over until I die. How fun...

Chucking the duece to 2007....

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 01:08:39 GMT

"Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."
John Wayne

Looking through my entries from this year, I ran across the above quote. It seemed so perfect for today, the last day of the year. And perfect for how I will be spending my midnight: at church with my mother. Because as much whining, complaining, bitching and moaning as I do, I would be nowhere without my mother and God. Plain and simple.

Also while looking through this years entries, I realized this was a good year. I was setting goals and achieving them; doing more things that made me happy. Of course I only remember all the bad stuff or the goals that backfired(hello internship at PR company!) but there's more good than bad I think. (plus it's all a learning experience.) I went back to school (A-, B+, B+, D....damn that D!! lol), had a "stable" job (raised over $40,000!! holla!), joined a great organization where I made friends(CareerPeeks.org-- check it out!!), actually ENJOYED my birthday (cute waiters who flirt with you and bring you chocolate cake with a candle in it really do make the world go round LOL), gave my life to God (who supplies all my needs and knows the end from the beginning....), and just really grew into who I am. And made some decisions about who I want to be. Simple things....

I was, if I dare say it, happy.

Looking forward to 2008....

Happy New Year everyone!

"What the hell is two girls, one cup?"

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 05:39:47 GMT

That's the question I'd been asking myself for a few weeks.

Urban Dictionary answered it in seconds: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=two+girls+one+cup

My favorite definition and use of the phrase in a sentence:

Something that will ruin your life forever. Do not even try to search for it.

"Wheres Frank?"
"He killed himself after watching two girls one cup."

LOL! I really hope those girls parents are:

a) deaf & blind
or
b) dead

Nobody should see their child doing that.

And in other news: I'm in love with Asparagus.

That is all.

Praying for peace in my mind and in my heart.

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:03:57 GMT

I'm better today.

Yesterday was the breaking point of months of pressure and stress that I let build up. And it was such a little thing that set me off (isn't it always?) and made me walk around with a lump in my throat and tears behind my eyes for the majority of the day.

I've been too ashamed to even acknowledge that everything that was coming at me was too much. Too prideful to ask for help. Or to even talk about what's been stressing me out. I've been telling half-truths, putting on a smile, and being who others wanted me to be.  That hurt me so much more than it helped me.

So I am making major changes (and minor changes which I've already implemented). Living more for me and doing more for me and so many specific things that I'll talk more about as I set them in motion. And whoever doesn't like it, ohs wellos! I refuse to feel like how I felt last night (and many other nights), ever again.

I have faith that God will see me through these changes because I know some of them are going to be painful. And it's going to take something bigger than myself to get me through them. But I know we will get me through everything.